Adult Survivors of CSA AND COMpLEX CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
There is fairly extensive material, information, education and help for adult trauma survivors but it becomes a bit more complicated if you are a child that does not necessarily comprehend the circumstances he or she is in, it becomes an adults responsibility to know the signs and question a child’s safety, if it’s your own or another family members or a neighbours child.
It can be very difficult to recognize the signs and even harder to decide to take action. Nobody wants to accuse anyone falsely and it can carry legal and social consequences thereafter.
The child affected may never be able to speak of it as it likely doesn’t know how to explain what happened. As an adult, it may decide to mentally dissociate from that truth in an attempt to live a good and happy life. How can one address a problem that happened so long ago and without having memories properly intact. Traumatic experiences especially as a child creates a puzzled mind, a combination of the fear response, triggers and insecurities that make it nearly impossible to address the past nor remember it. Many adult survivors struggle with those fragmented pieces of memory and are not able to piece things together. Many spend hours and even years trying to work through what happened decades ago. Often adult survivors forget it completely until the day they get triggered into remembering, usually through a significant life event that shocks their system and they begin to question their reality.
I have been working on an e-book for adult survivors, if you are interested to read it when it’s ready, please sign up below.
It can be very difficult to recognize the signs and even harder to decide to take action. Nobody wants to accuse anyone falsely and it can carry legal and social consequences thereafter.
The child affected may never be able to speak of it as it likely doesn’t know how to explain what happened. As an adult, it may decide to mentally dissociate from that truth in an attempt to live a good and happy life. How can one address a problem that happened so long ago and without having memories properly intact. Traumatic experiences especially as a child creates a puzzled mind, a combination of the fear response, triggers and insecurities that make it nearly impossible to address the past nor remember it. Many adult survivors struggle with those fragmented pieces of memory and are not able to piece things together. Many spend hours and even years trying to work through what happened decades ago. Often adult survivors forget it completely until the day they get triggered into remembering, usually through a significant life event that shocks their system and they begin to question their reality.
I have been working on an e-book for adult survivors, if you are interested to read it when it’s ready, please sign up below.
Self-care for trauma SURVIVORS
Self-care is an important part of coping with trauma, and stress. One simple way to practice self-care is to notice the way you talk to yourself. If the way you talk to yourself is not the way you talk to a friend, think about kinder ways to communicate to yourself. Remember that you matter and are worth taking care of. Putting yourself first may feel strange and bring up feelings of guilt and shame, this is a result of trauma and mental/emotional programming from the environment and other people. It is crucial for survivors to learn how to treat themselves with respect, establish boundaries and limitations and learn to differentiate between thoughts and feelings that are truly their own, loving and compassionate and the ones that are a result of programming, which usually are hurtful, confusing and fearful. Selfcare is a result of choosing to practice self responsibility, taking responsibility of yourself and doing what’s right for you.
Learn more about Self-care techniques
Learn more about Self-care techniques
Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
THE FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE has got a new name. It's now called the fight, flight or freeze response. Stress experts around the world are adding the word freeze to the name in deference to the fact that instead of fighting or fleeing, sometimes we tend to freeze (like a deer in the headlights) in traumatic situations.
The fight or flight response (in its original form) is about survival. It's about hope. We activate it when we believe there's a chance we can outrun or outfight our attackers. The freeze response however, gets activated when there is no hope.
In some respects, this response (whatever you call it) could be seen as an energy conservation device. It allowed our prehistoric ancestors to go through their day, using a modest amount of energy for mundane tasks while keeping a massive amount of energy, always on reserve, in case of emergency. If, while engaged in completing these mundane tasks, a predator were to jump out of the bushes, our ancestors would be able to – in a split second – dramatically increase their physical resources and instantly fight harder or run faster than they EVER had in their whole lives.
This response was very adaptive because it allowed our ancestors to change gears literally in the span of a single heartbeat. We can still do this today and call up this tremendous strength (the story about the woman who lifted a car off her son is NOT an urban legend) any time we need to and more importantly, turn it off when the danger passes.
The freeze response works differently. When we're overwhelmed by an attacker and we perceive that there is NO HOPE of surviving we tend to FREEZE. According to a story that was reported in the news media, a man who was visiting a national park out west actually survived a grizzly bear attack by playing dead. He sustained severe injuries during the attack but once he stopped struggling - the grizzly let him go. And it may have been what happens during the fight or flight or freeze response, that allowed him to endure the pain and still manage to lie perfectly still.
The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS)
This graphic shows both the sympathetic branch which revs us up to fight or flee and the parasympathetic branch which calms us down to rest and digest. The parasympathetic branch also coordinates the freeze response.
In order to understand the fight or flight or freeze response you have to understand how the two branches of the autonomic nervous system (or ANS) work in harmony with each other to deal with the threats we face and then recover. Our ANS is a network of nerve fibers that extends throughout the body connecting the brain with various organs and muscle groups in order to coordinate the two branches of this response.
The sympathetic branch activates the fight or flight response. It tells the heart to beat faster, the muscles to tense, the eyes to dilate and the mucous membranes to dry up. All so you can fight harder, run faster, see better and breathe easier than you would without this response. And remember, this response kicks in for real threats and imagined ones in as little as 1/20th of a second: Less than the amount of time between two beats of the heart.
The parasympathetic branch activates the relaxation response. It tells the body, OK, you can relax now. The danger has passed. No need to be on alert anymore.
Whenever we yawn, or stretch or feel our muscles relaxing after a workout, this is the work of the parasympathetic branch. We may not know it, but when we turn the lights out at night, we are depending on the parasympathetic branch to allow us to sleep. Interestingly, the same neurotransmitters, hormones and pain killers that help the body relax are also dumped into the bloodstream in huge amounts when the freeze array of the response kicks in. (And it's the pain killers that allow us to lie still while being mortally wounded.)
According to psychiatrist, author and UCLA professor Daniel J. Siegel, M.D, researchers call this the dorsal dive, referring to the portion of the parasympathetic nervous system that has been activated. This response is thought to have real benefits for an animal that is cornered by a predator. Collapse simulates death, so an attacker that eats only live prey may lose interest. Blood pressure drops precipitously in a freeze state which could also reduce blood loss from wounds. In any case, it makes the animal or person fall limply to the ground as they faint, which maintains precious blood flow to the head."
When author Dr. Peter Levine, gives lectures on surviving trauma, he shows a video of a lion chasing a baby gazelle. He is trying to show the audience exactly how the freeze response works. He explains that the video is short because the average time for a lion attack from start to finish is about 45 seconds. So he makes the additional (and very important) point that this is how long the victim's stress response (and our stress response) was designed to be activated for: Not hours or days, or even weeks on end like it does in us chronically stressed humans who don't know how to turn it off.
Of course the lion catches up to the gazelle (in less than 45 seconds) and you watch as it ruthlessly sinks its teeth into the baby animal's neck and throws it down on the ground several times, making sure it's completely lifeless. It's a game over moment if there ever was one. Then something miraculous happens. When the lion walks away, presumably to bring its cubs back to the kill, the gazelle literally comes back to life. It's as if it is waking from a deep freeze. You see it shiver all over and then it stands up and runs away, making a clean break.
For human beings, the freeze response can occur when we're terrified and feel like there is no chance for our survival or no chance for escape. It happens in car accidents, to rape victims and to people who are robbed at gunpoint. Sometimes they pass out, freeze or mentally remove themselves from their bodies, and don't feel the pain of the attack, and sometimes have no (explicit) memory of it afterwards.
That's why the fight or flight response is now called the fight, flight or freeze response. Because sometimes, when the odds are overwhelming we neither fight nor flee but simply freeze. And knowing this has special meaning in the treatment of trauma patients who, as survivors of a freeze event, experience flashbacks and other (implicit) memory fragments that can continue to haunt them for years afterwards.
(Text found on internet social media, slightly adjusted, original author unknown.)
The fight or flight response (in its original form) is about survival. It's about hope. We activate it when we believe there's a chance we can outrun or outfight our attackers. The freeze response however, gets activated when there is no hope.
In some respects, this response (whatever you call it) could be seen as an energy conservation device. It allowed our prehistoric ancestors to go through their day, using a modest amount of energy for mundane tasks while keeping a massive amount of energy, always on reserve, in case of emergency. If, while engaged in completing these mundane tasks, a predator were to jump out of the bushes, our ancestors would be able to – in a split second – dramatically increase their physical resources and instantly fight harder or run faster than they EVER had in their whole lives.
This response was very adaptive because it allowed our ancestors to change gears literally in the span of a single heartbeat. We can still do this today and call up this tremendous strength (the story about the woman who lifted a car off her son is NOT an urban legend) any time we need to and more importantly, turn it off when the danger passes.
The freeze response works differently. When we're overwhelmed by an attacker and we perceive that there is NO HOPE of surviving we tend to FREEZE. According to a story that was reported in the news media, a man who was visiting a national park out west actually survived a grizzly bear attack by playing dead. He sustained severe injuries during the attack but once he stopped struggling - the grizzly let him go. And it may have been what happens during the fight or flight or freeze response, that allowed him to endure the pain and still manage to lie perfectly still.
The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS)
This graphic shows both the sympathetic branch which revs us up to fight or flee and the parasympathetic branch which calms us down to rest and digest. The parasympathetic branch also coordinates the freeze response.
In order to understand the fight or flight or freeze response you have to understand how the two branches of the autonomic nervous system (or ANS) work in harmony with each other to deal with the threats we face and then recover. Our ANS is a network of nerve fibers that extends throughout the body connecting the brain with various organs and muscle groups in order to coordinate the two branches of this response.
The sympathetic branch activates the fight or flight response. It tells the heart to beat faster, the muscles to tense, the eyes to dilate and the mucous membranes to dry up. All so you can fight harder, run faster, see better and breathe easier than you would without this response. And remember, this response kicks in for real threats and imagined ones in as little as 1/20th of a second: Less than the amount of time between two beats of the heart.
The parasympathetic branch activates the relaxation response. It tells the body, OK, you can relax now. The danger has passed. No need to be on alert anymore.
Whenever we yawn, or stretch or feel our muscles relaxing after a workout, this is the work of the parasympathetic branch. We may not know it, but when we turn the lights out at night, we are depending on the parasympathetic branch to allow us to sleep. Interestingly, the same neurotransmitters, hormones and pain killers that help the body relax are also dumped into the bloodstream in huge amounts when the freeze array of the response kicks in. (And it's the pain killers that allow us to lie still while being mortally wounded.)
According to psychiatrist, author and UCLA professor Daniel J. Siegel, M.D, researchers call this the dorsal dive, referring to the portion of the parasympathetic nervous system that has been activated. This response is thought to have real benefits for an animal that is cornered by a predator. Collapse simulates death, so an attacker that eats only live prey may lose interest. Blood pressure drops precipitously in a freeze state which could also reduce blood loss from wounds. In any case, it makes the animal or person fall limply to the ground as they faint, which maintains precious blood flow to the head."
When author Dr. Peter Levine, gives lectures on surviving trauma, he shows a video of a lion chasing a baby gazelle. He is trying to show the audience exactly how the freeze response works. He explains that the video is short because the average time for a lion attack from start to finish is about 45 seconds. So he makes the additional (and very important) point that this is how long the victim's stress response (and our stress response) was designed to be activated for: Not hours or days, or even weeks on end like it does in us chronically stressed humans who don't know how to turn it off.
Of course the lion catches up to the gazelle (in less than 45 seconds) and you watch as it ruthlessly sinks its teeth into the baby animal's neck and throws it down on the ground several times, making sure it's completely lifeless. It's a game over moment if there ever was one. Then something miraculous happens. When the lion walks away, presumably to bring its cubs back to the kill, the gazelle literally comes back to life. It's as if it is waking from a deep freeze. You see it shiver all over and then it stands up and runs away, making a clean break.
For human beings, the freeze response can occur when we're terrified and feel like there is no chance for our survival or no chance for escape. It happens in car accidents, to rape victims and to people who are robbed at gunpoint. Sometimes they pass out, freeze or mentally remove themselves from their bodies, and don't feel the pain of the attack, and sometimes have no (explicit) memory of it afterwards.
That's why the fight or flight response is now called the fight, flight or freeze response. Because sometimes, when the odds are overwhelming we neither fight nor flee but simply freeze. And knowing this has special meaning in the treatment of trauma patients who, as survivors of a freeze event, experience flashbacks and other (implicit) memory fragments that can continue to haunt them for years afterwards.
(Text found on internet social media, slightly adjusted, original author unknown.)
Dissociation
Trauma Survivors develope PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) there are a multitude of symptoms and behaviours for PTSD sufferers but specifically in trauma victims that experienced a freeze reaction or dissociation, they can develope dissociative disorder which may stay with them during the rest of their lives and may be difficult to recognize or treat. Freezing is a normal response to severe stressful situations that give the victim a sense of no hope of survival. Posttrauma and years later still this freeze response can get triggered during stressful situations or situations that resemble the original trauma situation or when specific words or people are involved. This reaction can be seen as a huge annoyance when you are in conversation with someone and it escalates to an argument, where you may suddenly freeze and forget how you wanted to respond or loose your train of thought. Sometimes being left with your mouth open, your breath taken and staring or succumbing under tears because you can't react or defend yourself. Instead, your body and mind freezes up. The freeze response serves you well under real life threatening circumstances but during everyday live and normally occurring stressful situations through the day that aren't life threatening, this reaction can debilitate you. Sufferers will often have social anxiety because of this and also often will be a target of bullying.
Learning to recognize the freeze reaction and understand the triggers, understanding why you have this learned or trained behaviour and where it originated from, can also help you identify the triggers. That way you can learn to recognize a situation that may trigger the freeze response before it happens and prepare yourself. There are ways to help you deal with PTSD like the well known circular breathing technique, things like fast walks, knitting, Reiki and other relaxing or meditative methods, counteracting the after effects of severe trauma.
Trauma can be so severe that the memories can be suppressed by a victim for months, years and even decades, only resurfacing when going through similar situations or prolonged stressful situations like child labour, divorce, death of a child, accident or rape. Often the suppressed memories come up in our dreams or when they hit the conscious mind, they will at first feel like dreams and over time become more like memories.
This can be a highly confusing situation where the survivor will be reliving the trauma inside their minds and trigger a whole array of PTSD symptoms or escalating the ones that had been in place for decades. It is also very confusing for the people close to the survivor. Especially in cases where the trauma may have never been dealt with appropriately at the time of the original event and people that were involved may be covering up the facts of this trauma, due to the nature of it (like for example; child sexual abuse). Years ago, the belief was still around that by not addressing the issue and not reminding the victim of the events, were therapeutic and would benefit the survivor more then talking about the issues, especially if years or decades have passed, addressing this can be difficult and you may be ignored by the people involved or the whole incident may have been conveniently pushed under the rug for years, this won't be beneficial for a survivor suddenly remembering the trauma and reliving the events, not being able to get confirmation from family members.
If this is the case for you, I suggest one most important thing to you, TRUST YOURSELF for a change, survivor, and STOP TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE ONLY TRYING TO BRAINWASH YOU! A PERPETRATOR WILL NEVER ADMIT TO GUILT AND ANYONE INVOLVED WILL ALSO NOT ADMIT TO IT AS THAT MAKES THEM A COMPLIANCE.
Contacting a certified trauma therapist can help you greatly to learn everything there is to know about it. Never be afraid to be labelled and getting yourself the help you need, even decades after the trauma, it is still appropriate to get yourself the help you deserve.
Learning to recognize the freeze reaction and understand the triggers, understanding why you have this learned or trained behaviour and where it originated from, can also help you identify the triggers. That way you can learn to recognize a situation that may trigger the freeze response before it happens and prepare yourself. There are ways to help you deal with PTSD like the well known circular breathing technique, things like fast walks, knitting, Reiki and other relaxing or meditative methods, counteracting the after effects of severe trauma.
Trauma can be so severe that the memories can be suppressed by a victim for months, years and even decades, only resurfacing when going through similar situations or prolonged stressful situations like child labour, divorce, death of a child, accident or rape. Often the suppressed memories come up in our dreams or when they hit the conscious mind, they will at first feel like dreams and over time become more like memories.
This can be a highly confusing situation where the survivor will be reliving the trauma inside their minds and trigger a whole array of PTSD symptoms or escalating the ones that had been in place for decades. It is also very confusing for the people close to the survivor. Especially in cases where the trauma may have never been dealt with appropriately at the time of the original event and people that were involved may be covering up the facts of this trauma, due to the nature of it (like for example; child sexual abuse). Years ago, the belief was still around that by not addressing the issue and not reminding the victim of the events, were therapeutic and would benefit the survivor more then talking about the issues, especially if years or decades have passed, addressing this can be difficult and you may be ignored by the people involved or the whole incident may have been conveniently pushed under the rug for years, this won't be beneficial for a survivor suddenly remembering the trauma and reliving the events, not being able to get confirmation from family members.
If this is the case for you, I suggest one most important thing to you, TRUST YOURSELF for a change, survivor, and STOP TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE ONLY TRYING TO BRAINWASH YOU! A PERPETRATOR WILL NEVER ADMIT TO GUILT AND ANYONE INVOLVED WILL ALSO NOT ADMIT TO IT AS THAT MAKES THEM A COMPLIANCE.
Contacting a certified trauma therapist can help you greatly to learn everything there is to know about it. Never be afraid to be labelled and getting yourself the help you need, even decades after the trauma, it is still appropriate to get yourself the help you deserve.
video about reprogramming your emotional body through your chakras (bodies energy centres)
PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Symptoms you may experience from PTSD in severe trauma survivors like sexual abuse and incest:
Fidgeting like picking your skin until it bleeds and leaves scars all over your arms, face or other areas of your body, inability to control this or other nervous habits which are naturally occurring coping skills with stress, like smoking, drug use and other obsessive compulsive disorders, inability to stop, self harming, anger outbreaks, low sensitivity to pain, heart palpitations, irregular heart beats, dizziness, fainting spells, severe vertigo related to stress, trouble breathing, trouble concentrating, getting easily distracted, can't finish a task due to distraction or dissociation, loss of speech during a slight stressful situation, loss of train of thought, clumsiness like constant bumping into things, low body image, bulimia, anorexia, overeating, sensitive startle reflex that may even lead to a collapse, irresponsible sexual behaviours. During early childhood also; excessive masturbation for age and sleeplessness, constant talking to self.
PTSD is diagnosed after a person experiences symptoms for at least one month following a traumatic event. However symptoms may not appear until several months or even years later. The disorder is characterized by three main types of symptoms:
Diagnosis criteria that apply to adults, adolescents, and children older than six include those below. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violation:
The presence of one or more of the following:
Persistent avoidance of distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic events or of external reminders (i.e., people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations)
Two or more of the following:
Two or more of the following marked changes in arousal and reactivity:
Also, clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning not attributed to the direct physiological effects of medication, drugs, or alcohol or another medical condition, such as traumatic brain injury.
(Text copied off a mental health informational site, exact origin unknown. I am not a psychologist, please always refer to your own healthcare provider for any type of diagnosis, this information is only shared to educate)
Fidgeting like picking your skin until it bleeds and leaves scars all over your arms, face or other areas of your body, inability to control this or other nervous habits which are naturally occurring coping skills with stress, like smoking, drug use and other obsessive compulsive disorders, inability to stop, self harming, anger outbreaks, low sensitivity to pain, heart palpitations, irregular heart beats, dizziness, fainting spells, severe vertigo related to stress, trouble breathing, trouble concentrating, getting easily distracted, can't finish a task due to distraction or dissociation, loss of speech during a slight stressful situation, loss of train of thought, clumsiness like constant bumping into things, low body image, bulimia, anorexia, overeating, sensitive startle reflex that may even lead to a collapse, irresponsible sexual behaviours. During early childhood also; excessive masturbation for age and sleeplessness, constant talking to self.
PTSD is diagnosed after a person experiences symptoms for at least one month following a traumatic event. However symptoms may not appear until several months or even years later. The disorder is characterized by three main types of symptoms:
- Re-experiencing the trauma through intrusive distressing recollections of the event, flashbacks, and nightmares.
- Emotional numbness and avoidance of places, people, and activities that are reminders of the trauma.
- Increased arousal such as difficulty sleeping and concentrating, feeling jumpy, and being easily irritated and angered.
Diagnosis criteria that apply to adults, adolescents, and children older than six include those below. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violation:
- directly experiencing the traumatic events
- witnessing, in person, the traumatic events
- learning that the traumatic events occurred to a close family member or close friend; cases of actual or threatened death must have been violent or accidental
- experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic events (Examples are first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). Note: This does not apply to exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless exposure is work-related.
The presence of one or more of the following:
- spontaneous or cued recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic events (Note: In children repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the traumatic events are expressed.)
- recurrent distressing dreams in which the content or affect (i.e. feeling) of the dream is related to the events (Note: In children there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content.)
- flashbacks or other dissociative reactions in which the individual feels or acts as if the traumatic events are recurring (Note: In children trauma-specific reenactment may occur in play.)
- intense or prolonged psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic events
- physiological reactions to reminders of the traumatic events
Persistent avoidance of distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic events or of external reminders (i.e., people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations)
Two or more of the following:
- inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic events (not due to head injury, alcohol, or drugs)
- persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted,” "The world is completely dangerous").
- persistent, distorted blame of self or others about the cause or consequences of the traumatic events
- persistent fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame
- markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities
- feelings of detachment or estrangement from others
- persistent inability to experience positive emotions
Two or more of the following marked changes in arousal and reactivity:
- irritable or aggressive behaviour
- reckless or self-destructive behaviour
- hyper vigilance
- exaggerated startle response
- problems with concentration
- difficult falling or staying asleep or restless sleep
Also, clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning not attributed to the direct physiological effects of medication, drugs, or alcohol or another medical condition, such as traumatic brain injury.
(Text copied off a mental health informational site, exact origin unknown. I am not a psychologist, please always refer to your own healthcare provider for any type of diagnosis, this information is only shared to educate)
In MacLean's triune brain model, the basal ganglia are referred to as the reptilian or primal brain, as this structure is in control of our innate and automatic self-preserving behavior patterns, which ensure our survival and that of our species. Read more about the reptilian brain...